New Zealand was hit my a acid rain storm. It poured out acidic rain for about three nights and three days. Once the rain stopped me and my family decided to go for a walk. My whole family got ready for the walk they wore a whole bunch of different clothing items. Some wore winter clothes then the other clothes summery clothes and I just wore random clothes. But when we opened the door...
We felt so happy because we got to stand in fresh air. It was crazy at first because I still smelt a little breeze of gases. When they eventually left mt scent me and my family went for the walk we planed. When we crossed to the next street we saw a ambulance and this man getting strolled in to the truck. I felt so bad because I thought that this man stood directly in the rain and then the next day he goes to hospital. Anyways me and my family only went for a short walk because we were still a bit tired from being frighted. So we didn't see much things once we walked back home I thought to myself '' I hope this never happens again''.
Kia Ora Taya!
ReplyDeleteWell done for completing another SLJ activity, 'Let It Rain' and for writing a short about what happened when you stepped outside of your house after an acid rain storm.
I just want to start by saying that I am so happy and honoured that I get to read another piece of your writing :)
Nice work on telling your reader a little bit more about the acid rain storm itself, I like that you've said it rained for 3 nights and for 3 days— this helps set the foundation of your story and allows for suspense.
You might want to try and get in to the habit of saying "my family and I" instead of "me and my family" as this is a respectful way of talking about yourself and those you associate with.
I'm glad that you clarified that although there was fresh air, you could still smell the gasses through the 'breeze'— well done.
I'm pleased to hear that you and your family were able to go for the walk you had planned— seems like nothing will stop you, even when you're frightened!
The man that was wheeled in to the ambulance, was he injured from the acid rain? That would be horrendous if so!
What a marvellous story, Taya. Honestly a pleasure to read!
Keep it up :)
Thanks,
Jordan